Let’s be honest: a lot of people are curious about adult toys but feel too awkward to ask the questions. Maybe you’ve scrolled past a post, spotted a sleek-looking something in a friend’s drawer, or heard a recommendation on a podcast and thought, Okay, but where do I even begin? The truth is, adult toys are far more common (and normal) than most of us were taught to believe—and they’re not just for “other people.” They’re for anyone who wants to explore their body, enhance intimacy, or simply add a little extra spark to solo or partnered experiences.
So let’s open that metaphorical drawer together—with no embarrassment, no judgment, and absolutely no need to whisper.
First things first: adult toys aren’t a sign of a problem. Using one doesn’t mean your relationship is lacking, your libido is broken, or that you “can’t do it the natural way.” That idea needs to retire immediately. Toys are tools. That’s it. They’re like adding seasoning to your favourite dish—not essential, but very welcome when the flavour hits just right.
If you’re completely new to this, you might be picturing something cartoonish or over-the-top. But modern adult toys are nothing like the plastic novelty items your cousin brought to a bachelorette party in 2011. These days, they’re sleek, well-designed, quiet, and often beautifully discreet. Some look more like tech gadgets than anything else. And honestly, many people wouldn’t even recognise half of them unless they were pointed out.
So what’s actually in the toy drawer?
Let’s start with vibrators, probably the most well-known category. These come in all shapes and sizes—external, internal, wand-style, bullet-sized—and they’re not just for women. Vibrators can stimulate many different areas depending on your body and preferences. They’re great for solo use or adding to partnered play, and they’re often the first toy people try.
Next up: dildos. These are typically used for internal stimulation and can be realistic or totally abstract in shape. Some are solid, some have suction bases, and some are double-ended or even glow in the dark if you’re feeling bold. There’s something for everyone—and yes, they’re for people of all genders.
Butt toys include plugs, beads, and prostate massagers. If you’re curious about exploring this area, start small, use lots of lube, and go slow. There’s no shame in being curious—only value in doing it safely and mindfully.
Rings (sometimes called c-rings) are stretchy loops worn around the base of the penis to enhance sensation and prolong arousal. They can be basic or have added vibration for shared pleasure.
Sleeves and masturbators are toys designed for people with penises, offering texture, sensation, and variety during solo sessions. Again, not a replacement—just an addition.
Then there are couples’ toys, which can include remote-controlled vibrators, wearable items, and toys designed for mutual stimulation during sex. Many now connect to apps, making long-distance play surprisingly high-tech (and quite fun).
And yes, there are kink and BDSM toys too—things like blindfolds, paddles, restraints, and sensation tools. These aren’t just for people with dungeons in their basement; many are beginner-friendly and more about trust and exploration than anything extreme. Consent, communication, and curiosity are key.
So how do you choose what’s right for you? Start with your curiosity. Are you looking for something external or internal? Solo or partnered? Are you exploring something specific, or just experimenting? Read reviews. Ask questions. Visit a trusted site or in-person shop that offers respectful, non-intimidating advice. You don’t need to spend a fortune or collect a whole drawer full right away. One thoughtful choice is enough to begin.
And let’s talk about shame for a second. Because if you were raised to think toys are taboo or “only for desperate people,” it might feel a bit scary to even look. But here’s the truth: pleasure is normal. Bodies are allowed to enjoy. Curiosity isn’t a flaw—it’s a human strength. And exploring what works for you doesn’t take away from anything—it adds to it.
If you’re in a relationship, toys aren’t a threat. They’re conversation starters. Many couples find that bringing a toy into the bedroom opens up new kinds of communication, trust, and excitement. If you’re single, toys are an excellent way to get to know your body, build confidence, and enjoy pleasure on your own terms. And if you’re somewhere in between? There’s a toy for that, too.
One final note: hygiene matters. Always clean your toys before and after use, follow the manufacturer’s instructions, and use water-based lube unless the toy says otherwise. Silicone toys plus silicone lube can be a bad combo, and batteries die faster than you’d expect, so keep an eye on those too.
So what’s in the toy drawer? Empowerment. Confidence. Joy. A reminder that your pleasure is worth time, attention, and exploration. Whether you’re opening it for the first time or adding something new to the mix, it’s your drawer—and there’s no wrong way to fill it.
About the Author
