Earth: The Reality Show Aliens Can’t Stop Watching

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Let’s just admit it: if aliens exist—and come on, at this point, it’s more naïve to think they don’t—then Earth is probably their version of trash TV. Think about it. We’ve got war, love, bad decisions, weird food trends, and billionaires launching themselves into space for fun. We are the reality show. The one they all pretend not to watch, but secretly binge when no one’s looking.

Picture it: some intergalactic living room light-years away, a tentacled being hovering over a giant holographic screen, popcorn equivalent in hand, eyes wide as they stream Planet Earth: Season 2025. This week’s episode? “Another tech billionaire tries to fix a social problem with an app while the oceans are on fire.” Riveting.

They’ve got their favourites, no doubt. One alien’s obsessed with penguins. Another’s rooting for Beyoncé. There’s definitely a betting pool on whether humanity will destroy itself with AI or plastic straws first. And let’s be honest, we’re the perfect source of entertainment. You can’t not watch a species that invented glitter, competitive cheese rolling, and influencer boxing matches.

Our world is a mess—yes—but it’s the kind of mess you can’t look away from. Like a soap opera where the plot makes less sense every season but the drama keeps escalating. Natural disasters, political gaffes, celebrity scandals, TikTok trends… we’re basically a galactic crossover between Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Black Mirror, and The Office.

And if aliens are watching us, they must be deeply confused. We hoard toilet paper during crises. We send robots to Mars but still argue about pineapple on pizza. We invent powerful technology and use it to make cat videos. We have people debating whether birds are real while simultaneously carrying supercomputers in their pockets. What even is this storyline?

There’s probably a whole fandom dedicated to us. Think: interstellar Reddit threads dissecting Earthling culture, fan theories about what happened to the dinosaurs, and heated debates over whether we’re a redemption arc or a slow-burn tragedy. Some alien kid probably wrote their thesis on our obsession with celebrity drama and recurring wars. And somewhere out there, an alien therapist is telling their client, “Stop comparing yourself to the humans. They don’t even have universal healthcare.”

They’ve seen us fight over things like seat recline etiquette and the proper way to load a dishwasher. They’ve watched us invent nuclear weapons, then use them as leverage while also creating entire religions based on peace. Honestly, we might be a morality play to them. Or maybe just a really dark comedy with the occasional moment of hope.

But here’s the kicker: for all our chaos, there is something compelling about us. We’re messy, yes—but we’re also creative. We make art out of pain, build symphonies out of heartbreak, laugh when we probably should cry, and still manage to fall in love on a planet slowly unraveling. That kind of resilience? That’s Emmy-worthy.

Maybe that’s why they’re still watching. Not just for the drama, but for the bits in between—the kindness, the breakthroughs, the unexpected plot twists where someone does the right thing. Maybe they’re not watching to laugh at us, but to root for us. Like the underdog contestant in a reality show who keeps getting voted off but somehow stays because they’re just too endearing to give up on.

So yes, maybe the aliens are watching. And maybe they’ve placed bets on us. Maybe we’re their favourite guilty pleasure. And maybe, just maybe, we’re starting to become more than entertainment. Maybe we’re the messy, unpredictable, infuriating-but-fascinating species they’re quietly hoping will get it together. Eventually.

Until then, we’ll keep the drama coming. The plot’s a mess. The characters are inconsistent. But the soundtrack slaps, the memes are elite, and every now and then, we surprise even ourselves.