Green Flags in Relationships You Shouldn’t Ignore

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We spend a lot of time talking about red flags—those flashing neon signs that someone’s not quite right for you. But what about green flags? The quiet, unassuming moments that say, “This person might actually be good for you.” Not the over-the-top gestures or grand speeches, but the subtle, often overlooked behaviours that signal safety, respect, and genuine connection. Let’s talk about the green flags no one talks about but absolutely should.

Like when someone says they’ll call—and then actually does. Not after three reschedules and a vague excuse about being “bad with phones.” Just a simple, reliable follow-through. It’s not flashy, but it builds trust. That’s a green flag.

Or when they apologise without turning it into a performance. No dramatic monologue, no guilt-tripping, no backhanded “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Just a sincere, “I messed up. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.” Accountability? Massive green flag.

Notice the way someone treats people they don’t need to impress. Like how they speak to waitstaff, cashiers, or taxi drivers. Are they kind? Patient? Do they say please and thank you? Because how someone treats people in moments of convenience says more about them than a perfectly curated bio ever will.

Another one? They don’t keep score. There’s no mental tally of who paid last or who messaged first. They give without expectation, not because they want something in return, but because they genuinely care. That kind of emotional generosity? Rare—and very green.

They celebrate your wins without making it about them. You get a new job, finish a degree, finally stand up to your boss—and their response isn’t “Wow, I wish I could do that” or “I told you you’d get it.” It’s pure joy for your joy. Unfiltered pride. That’s what support looks like.

And here’s one that might seem small but says everything: they let you talk. Really talk. Without hijacking the conversation or waiting for their turn to speak. They ask questions. They remember the weird little details you shared three weeks ago. They listen to understand, not just to reply. It’s quiet, but it’s powerful.

In South Africa, where dating culture can often be a mix of ghosting, texting games, and crossed wires across multiple languages and backgrounds, these green flags are gold. Forget the Instagrammable moments. It’s the WhatsApp check-ins, the “Did you get home safe?”, the “I got you a pie because I remembered you said you missed this brand from Joburg.” That’s real. That’s connection.

Green flags aren’t always easy to spot because they don’t demand attention. They don’t make noise. But they’re there—in how someone makes you feel seen, safe, and soft in a world that’s often hard.

So while it’s important to keep an eye out for red flags, don’t forget to notice the green ones too. They’re the things that make love easier. Kinder. Real.