Adult Friendships Are Just “Let’s Catch Up Soon” Forever

0 0

Adult friendships are essentially just one long, emotionally sincere loop of “Let’s catch up soon!” that never quite makes it to the calendar. It’s the modern friendship mantra. You say it while hugging someone in a Pick n Pay aisle. You text it at 10pm on a Wednesday when nostalgia hits. You write it under someone’s birthday post because it feels vaguely rude to say nothing. And deep down, you mean it. You really, really mean it. You just… don’t do it.

It’s not because you don’t care. It’s because adult life is a relentless parade of logistics, load shedding, forgotten WhatsApp replies, and a strange inability to coordinate more than one schedule at a time. Planning a lunch with someone you love becomes a game of calendar Tetris that nobody wins. And before you know it, it’s been three months, two budget meetings, one mental breakdown, and you’re still reacting to their Instagram Stories with heart emojis like it counts as quality time.

Adult friendship isn’t about frequency—it’s about survival. It’s the type of connection that endures through silence. The ones who stay even when the messages stop. The people who don’t get mad when you vanish for a bit, and who somehow still make you feel like no time has passed when you finally see them again. These are not friendships built on constant interaction. These are friendships built on mutual understanding that we’re all doing our best not to cry in a public restroom.

You start to realise that friendship at this stage of life is less about going out and more about staying in. It’s replying to a voice note three days later with an apology and a full audio essay. It’s tagging them in memes instead of texting back because “this reminded me of you” is easier than explaining why your life feels like a fever dream. It’s cancelling plans, then rescheduling them with the same enthusiasm as booking a holiday, even if it’s just a Woolies café date.

And let’s not forget the calendar limbo: “Are you free this week?” “Let me check.” “Next weekend?” “Oh wait, no, my cousin’s kid has a thing.” “What about mid-May?” “We’ll chat closer to the time.” That time never comes. But the sentiment? The sentiment lives on.

In South Africa, where everything from the weather to the Wi-Fi is conspiring against efficiency, “Let’s catch up soon” is often both a promise and a coping mechanism. It’s how we say “I haven’t forgotten you,” even if we don’t have the emotional bandwidth to prove it. It’s love in a low-data mode. Friendship in hibernation.

Sometimes, though, you actually do catch up. You sit in someone’s lounge with tea and a shared sense of exhaustion, and everything comes flooding back. You talk about careers, relationships, ageing, insurance, your weird dream from Tuesday, and how you both can’t believe it’s already April. These moments are rare and magical. Like a perfectly timed robot traffic light.

So no, adult friendship isn’t weekly brunches or spontaneous beach days. It’s sending each other TikToks and pretending that’s the same as conversation. It’s keeping the group chat alive with exactly one person participating. It’s a “thinking of you” message at 2am that never gets delivered because signal died halfway.

And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean the love is gone. It just means the logistics got loud.

So next time someone says, “Let’s catch up soon,” smile and nod. Say, “Absolutely.” Know that the invitation might float in limbo forever—but the affection behind it? That part’s real.