Let’s Talk About Lube: Why It’s for Everyone, Every Time

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For something that should be standard in every bedside drawer, lube still gets a strangely awkward reputation. You’d think after all the talk about pleasure, connection, and experimentation, a little bottle of slippery magic wouldn’t be so misunderstood. But here we are—still treating it like a last resort instead of what it really is: one of the most underrated tools for better sex.

Let’s start with the basics. Lube isn’t about “fixing” something. It’s not a failure of arousal, performance, or technique. It’s about enhancing comfort, reducing friction, and helping bodies move together in a way that feels good—for everyone involved. And no, it’s not just for penetrative sex. Lube makes everything smoother: toys, fingers, massages, solo play, even kinky setups with texture or restraint.

There’s also this unhelpful myth that if someone is “into it enough,” their body should magically produce the perfect amount of natural lubrication. That’s not how human anatomy works. Arousal can be affected by anything from hormones and medication to stress, fatigue, and hydration. Bodies aren’t vending machines. Sometimes, even when your brain’s screaming “yes,” your body needs a little extra help. That’s normal. That’s human. That’s what lube is for.

Now, onto the types—because not all lubes are created equal. There are three main categories: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based.

Water-based lubes are the most common. They’re versatile, toy-friendly, easy to clean, and safe with condoms. The downside? They can dry out quicker than you’d like, but a few drops of water or a top-up sorts that out fast. Bonus: they’re great for sensitive skin.

Silicone-based lubes last longer and stay slick, even in water (think shower play or marathon sessions). They’re ideal for those who hate constant reapplying. But keep in mind—silicone lube can damage silicone toys, so check your materials before you mix and match.

Oil-based lubes are thick, rich, and great for external play or massages. However, they’re not compatible with latex condoms and can stain fabrics. Use them when you know your setup and materials are safe.

There are also hybrid options, flavoured varieties, warming or cooling sensations, and organic or pH-balanced formulas for those with sensitive bodies. Choosing the right lube isn’t about guessing—it’s about what feels best for you.

And yes, it’s absolutely okay to try a few. Sample packs exist for a reason. Use them solo. Use them with a partner. Use them while figuring out what the difference feels like. Lube is about curiosity as much as comfort.

For folks exploring anal play—lube isn’t optional, it’s essential. That part of the body doesn’t self-lubricate, no matter how excited you are. A thicker, long-lasting formula works best here, and taking your time is just as important.

What’s great about lube is how it can shift the tone of intimacy. Slowing things down, increasing sensation, making each touch more intentional. Even adding it to your routine can create a moment of connection. That pause where you say, “Let’s make this feel even better.” That’s not clinical—it’s considerate. It’s sexy.

And yet, lube still gets left off the shopping list. Maybe it’s embarrassment. Maybe it’s outdated messaging that says needing it means you’re “not doing it right.” But the truth is, using lube is doing it right. It’s how you listen to your body, respect your partner, and prioritise pleasure over ego.

In short: lube doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It means something’s about to get better.

So whether you’re prepping for a slow Sunday session, spicing things up midweek, or just want to make solo time feel a bit more luxurious—get the lube out. Keep it where you can reach it. Talk about it without the weird pause. Because friction can be fun—but only when it’s the kind that makes you grin, not wince.