Satire: The Evil Cat Owners

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Are you a cat owner? If you are, you might want to brace yourself. I’m afraid it’s looking rather like you, along with all other cat owners, have earned the right to step on Lego. That’s correct, my friends. After years of research and study, I can now definitively assert that cat owners inherently deserve the painful and rather excruciating experience of stepping on Lego.

But don’t just accept my word for it. Examine the evidence. Firstly, cats are notorious for their aloof and independent nature, which makes them entirely undeserving of the love and affection bestowed upon them by cat owners. And we mustn’t forget how cats are infamous for their proclivity to knock things off tables and scratch furniture, causing untold mess and destruction. Clearly, as cat owners, we deserve some form of retribution.

But the evidence runs even deeper. Studies suggest that us cat owners tend to be more self-absorbed, frequently prioritising our own needs above those of others. This makes us absolutely deserving of stepping on Lego, acknowledged widely as one of the most painful experiences a person can endure.

However, if you’re a cat owner and you’re feeling a bit uneasy right now, don’t worry. There is a way to dodge this fate. All you need to do is bid farewell to your cat and adopt a more deserving pet, perhaps a dog or a goldfish. Yes, it might be a struggle at first, but believe me, it will be worth it in the end.

So, the next time you snuggle up with your feline friend, remember: you’ve earned that Lego-underfoot experience. But with a bit of effort, you can sidestep this fate and become a responsible pet owner. It’s never too late to redeem yourself.


Shaun Zietsman

Blogger and Content Creator from Johannesburg, South Africa.

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