The Tea Party – a SHORT STORY

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Well, there goes my job. I lost it. Yup i fucking lost my job.

How? Well it is all that bloody Jess and her taddle tale mentality. I did nothing wrong. NOTHING. Well, basically nothing okay. You see, sometimes I would just gippo my overtime slightly. Like… I saw it more as just rounding it off. Making life easier for accounting right?

Honestly, I am a hero, I ensured people didn’t have to struggle making my salary slip up each week. Also those bastards earn so much money on the 7th floor, why not? Why the hell not. What is a few hours a week. We working class work so hard each day for them to go play golf and do whatever they do up there.

But today, today of all days I had to go and insult Jess from the IT department. Insult is a harsh word though, I merely pointed out that she is not the dumbest person alive, but for her sake I hope the dumbest person doesn’t die soon as she is next in line. See? not that bad. Okay… I also said “I would tell you to go fuck yourself but I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.” THAT is the one that pushed her over the edge. She stormed off in a huff. But vengeance she surely got.

Jess spoke to her friend Susan who spoke to someone in HR and bang, they pulled 6 months worth of clocking and my dumb ass got caught because it was the perfect clocking ever recorded… why did i not think more realistically.

So now I am job-less. Embarrassed, oh and another thing. Jess’s stupid Kid scratched my car because she wanted to impress her mom. The little girl probably around 5 was sitting in the back seat when all of my uhm, emotions came out towards her mother. She then snuck out and scratched the word ‘boo’. I guess that was all she could spell right. She is 5 after all.

So here I go, on my way home. The day sucks, my car says boo like an unemployed ghost pre-halloween and I am annoyed. At least the music is good today on the radio, and the highway is clear for me to just let go and let loose a little bit. Just soaking in the sun, enjoying the tunes and on my way home for a few beers.

*yawn* wait? I am home? How did I get home so fast? Why the heck am I feeling so weird.

Wait no this isn’t my home? But i was driving… i didn’t… what?

*whistling sounds coming from downstairs*

*footsteps can be heard coming up*

Oh shit, I have to hide. This isn’t my house. What the fuck is going on! The closet! No wait its too full. Behind the door? Fuck i don’t have a choice.

*the whistling stops, a little girl walks into the room and slams the door shut*

Silly man, why are you hiding behind the door. The girl giggles.

You always forget. You are my friend! Come sit down! Let’s have a tea Party!

What? She knows me. I always forget? WHAT?

Sorry but, who are you!

I am Beatrice, You are the mean man who shouted at my mommy. But now you are my friend. Silly man. Always forgetting. You are my friend. Come sit down for tea.

I am your what? Your mom? WHAT?

*Jess walks in through the door*

Beatrice who are you talking too Sunshine?

My friend mommy, but he keeps forgetting he is my friend.

Oh my child. You and your wild imagination. There is no one here. I swear we need to get you more friends.

Thank you for reading… #TheSomethingGuy #SouthAfrica

Shaun Zietsman

Blogger and Content Creator from Johannesburg, South Africa.

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